Ni gute waba ‘Romantique’ kurushaho?

Abantu benshi batekereza ko kugira ngo umuntu abe ‘romantique’ cyangwa se ashimishe umukunzi we, bimusaba amafaranga menshi cyangwa se ubundi bushobozi bukomeye.

Nyamara si byo.

Muri iyi nkuru, turakugezaho uburyo wakoresha ugashimisha umukunzi wawe nta bushobozi bwinshi ukoresheje.

Iyo ukunda umuntu wifuza ko yahora yishimye, mwaba muri kumwe ukifuza ko uwo mwanya wamurutira ibindi byose.

Ese wabyitwaramo ute kugira ngo yishime koko?

Dore ibintu byoroshye ariko nyamara byashimisha umukunzi wawe!

1. Gerageza guhamagara umukunzi wawe mu gitondo ukangutse (ku batarashakana) umubaze uko yaramutse, umubaze gahunda ye y’uwo munsi, umubwire ko umukunda kandi ko akurutira abandi bose.

Ku bashakanye niba ukangutse uhite umuramutsa, umusome, naho niba agisinziriye ugende umutegurire ifunguro rya mu gitondo, nibishoboka unarimuzanire ku buryo akanguka asanga wamuteguriye.

2.Jya wereka umukunzi wawe inshuti zawe, ube fier (ugaragaze ko umwishimiye kandi ko atagutera ikimwaro) yo kugendana nawe.

Ku bagore si byiza ko niba umaze gushaka utangira kwicupiza, ukareka kwiyitaho nk’uko wabigenzaga, ugatangira kwambara imyenda mibi. Gerageza ahubwo kumushimisha nk’uko wabigenzaga na mbere, ntutinye kumusoma mu bantu kuko ibyo bimugaragariza ko umukunda kandi ko uri ‘fier’ ye nta n’undi utinya kubyereka.

Ni byiza ko muba mufite utuzina mwitana nka : Baby, sweetheart, bebe, honey,… bikaba byiza kurushaho binakomeje n’igihe mumaze no kubana.

3.Gerageza kumenya ibintu byose abantu bafata nk’aho ari ko kuba ‘romantique’ kabone n’aho byaba ntaho byanditse.

Ntiwibagirwe ko n’ubwo atari itegeko ariko ko hari impamvu ubona indabo zitangwa cyane cyane ku munsi w’abakundanye(Saint Valantin), ku baba badaherukanye bari bakumburanye, …. Ntiwibagirwe ko hari impamvu ujya ubona za bougies ziteguye ku meza yateguriwe gusangiriraho abantu babiri. Erega nubwo waba utanabimenyereye cyangwa utabibona iwawe mu rugo ushobora no kubirebera muri za filime, n’ahandi…

4.Gerageza kureba icyo abandi bita kuba ‘romantique’: hari ababona ko kuba ‘romantique’ ari ugusangira ifunguro ryabo rya nimugoroba n’abakunzi babo mu cyumba gito kirimo ameza nayo ateretseho itabaza(bougie) byashoboka ry’ibara ry’umutuku, hateretseho icupa rya Divayi ihenze cyane n’ifunguro ryiza kandi riteguye neza. Abandi nabo bashobora gufata kuba ‘romantique’ nko gusangira n’abakunzi babo ibyo bakunda, tuvuge nka chocolat, pizza, ice cream, ifiriti, n’ibindi bitewe n’ivyo buri wese akunda; ibyo byose bakabikora birebere televiziyo.

Gusa nta tegeko runaka ririho ryo kuba ‘romantique’, ariko niba wumva udashobora kwimenyera uko wabyitwaramo igihe uri kumwe n’umukunzi wawe, nibura jya ukopera uko abandi babigenza, ariko ushimishe umukunzi.

5.Gerageza gusa nk’uw’iyibagirwa. Gushimisha umukunzi wawe ntukabikore ufite icyo ugamije kindi kitari ugutuma yishima. Ntukabikore kugira ngo abandi bakurebe cyangwa se usa n’aho utegereje igihembo. Jya umenya ko gushimisha umukunzi ari byo bigomba kuba intego yawe kandi ibyo byonyine byo ubwabyo ni ko kuba ‘romantique’.

6.Jya unyuzamo ukorere umukunzi wawe udu-surprises (kumutungura), umuha impano zoroheje ariko zifite icyo zisobanuye: umujyane mu bitaramo, muri za karaoke aho uziko bacuranga uturirimbo tw’urukundo dufite n’icyo tubibutsa mwembi.

Umusohokane ahantu uziko akunda nibura rimwe mu mezi nk’abiri, kabone n’iyo wowe waba utahakunda ye, burya gukunda nyabyo bigusaba kwiyibagirwa wowe ubwawe, n’ibyo ukunda.

7. Jya unyuzamo umuzanire indabo mu rugo, bitari gusa ku munsi we w’amavuko(anniversaire), ku munsi w’abakundanye(Saint Valantin) cyangwa indi minsi ifite ibisobanuro byihariye mu buzima bwe . Rimwe na rimwe ujye ugerageza gutegurira umukunzi wawe ifunguro uziko akunda, ubifatire umwanya ujye mu gikoni urimutegurire neza ku munsi usanzwe nta kintu kindi cyabaye. Burya iyo nta kintu yiteguye ko umukorera kidasanzwe nibwo impano cyangwa n’akandi kantu kose umuhaye umutunguye kamushimisha byimazeyo.

8.Rimwe na rimwe jya ugerageza gutetesha umukunzi wawe, nubona ananiwe umusabe ko wamukorera ka massage bitari ibya buri gihe wamumenyereje. Ariko umutungure umunsi umwe umubwire ko wifuza kumufasha kuruhuka, nimuba mwicaye muri salon murimo kwirebera television, umukore mu musatsi, umwoze ibirenge niba aje ananiwe, umubwire umwenda umubera cyane wifuza ko yazambara ejo unawumuterere ipasi. Gukunda no gushimisha uwo ukunda bigusaba ko umenya ibyo umukunzi wawe akunda kandi ugahora witeguye kubimuha, iyo ubigenje utyo aka-geste ako ariko kose wamukorera karamushimisha cyane kandi kakamubera ‘romantique’ pe!

9.Niba mwicaranye muri mwenyine shaka CD, iriho indirimbo z’urukundo uziko akunda uzimushyiriremo, muzumvane. Ni byiza cyane kwibuka iyo mwumvaga ku munsi wa mbere akwemerera urukundo, cyangwa ku bashakanye kuba wibuka indirimbo mwabyinanye kuri wa munsi ubwo mwafunguraga piste.

10.Ni byiza ko mwarebana filime iri ‘romantique’ mukibukiranya ibyiza byose mwaciyemo, uburyo mwatangiye, uburyo wamuhinze (wamuterese) akabanza kukugora ariko amaherezo ubu akaba ari uwawe…

Ni iki wakorera umukobwa w’inshuti yawe kugira ngo urukundo rwanyu rusagambe?

Sunday 1 May 2011

Ikintu cya mbere ku mugabo ufite umugore, ku musorre ufite umukunzi
cyangwa se wifuza kumugira ni ukumenya neza uko abagore muri rusange
bateye.

Nk’uko umuhanga mu by’urukundo Yahya Messi mu gitabo cye, ‘Leurs Top
Secrets’ abisobanura, ngo ikintu cya mbere ku bagabo ni ukumenya
kwigira ku bagore.

Erega nibyo, nonese niba muri rusange, utajya wumva imiterere
y’abagore, ni gute uzumva umukobwa wawe? Uzumva ute se umugore
washatse, umukunzi wawe cyangwa mushiki wawe, n’inshuti yawe isanzwe
y’umukobwa?

Abagore muri rusange, ni abantu bakunda umuntu ubitaho, bakunda gufata
neza ibintu no kubiha agaciro mu buryo butandukanye n’ubw’abagabo. Ibi
niba ushaka kubyumva neza uzabisuzume, cyangwa se wifashishe igitabo:
Les hommes viennent de Mars et les femmes viennent de Venus, igitabo
ushobora no kubona films documentaires zikivugaho. Iki gitabo
kigaragaza neza kinifashishije ingero zifatika uburyo abagore
batandukanye kure n’abagabo, uburyo hari ibintu byinshi abagabo
badasobanukiwe ku bagore.

Hari aho abanditse iki gitabo batanga urugero rw’ukuntu umugabo iyo
umuhamagaye umubwira ko urwaye umutwe cyane, ahita akubaza aho uri
kugira ngo agushakirre ibinini abikuzanire, mu gihe umugore we abanza
kukubaza ibibazo byinshi birimo aho uri, icyaba cyaguteye kunanirwa no
kugira stress, agaytangira no kukubwira ibindi birimo no kuba
yakwibutsa ko yari yarakubujije kunywa inzoga, … Muri rusange, ngo
abagore iyo ubabwiye ko urwaye umutwe batangira kureba impamvu
zaguteye kurwara umutwe, kurusha gushaka umuti w’icyo kibazo cyawe mu
gihe umugabo we ngo yihutira kujya gushaka imiti gusa.

Ntabwo ari bibi pe, kuko ibi byerekana uburyo umugore muri rusange
yita ku bintu kandi akabiha agaciro cyane, akantu ako ariko kose
gashobora kumubabaza mu gihe ku mugabo we ibintu yitaho cyangwa
bimutwarira umwanya ari bike cyane.
Uratekereza ko ikosa ari irya nde?

Yaba umugabo cyangwa umugore nta n’umwe ufite ikosa kuko Imana niyo
yaturemye mu buryo butandukanye, nabyo kandi nsanga atari bibi kuko
bidufasha kuzuzanya.

Nibyo koko imiterere y’abantu iratandukanye cyane, ari nayo mpamvu
uzabona umugore afata umwanya we kugira ngo agutekere ibiryo ukunda,
akaba azi mutwe itariki yawe y’amavuko kandi wenda wowe
waranayibagirwa, akaba azi n’andi matariki akomeye mu buzima bwawe.
Ibi byose abagore babikoreshwa n’urukundo baba bafitiye abagabo.

Jya wibuka kandi ko mu nkuru zose, mu migani myinshi ivuga ku bakobwa,
irangira ibagaragaza nk’abamikazi, ikarangira igaragaza ko mu mpera
buri mukobwa ahura n’igikomangoma (prince) cye kandi kiteguye kumuha
urukundo mu buryo bwose.

Muri iyi nkuru turashaka kukwereka bimwe mu bintu abagabo batazi ku
bagore kandi nyamara ari ingenzi mu mubano n’urukundo rwabo. N’ubwo
bwose bidashoboka ko umukobwa/umugore abona uwo yifuza (l’homme
parfait, perfect man) ariko nibura wowe musore/mugaboo gerageza
kumwumvisha ko witeguye guhinduka.

Aha rero turagufasha kumenya ibyo wakora bikamushimisha bityo
akarushaho kukwibonamo kurushaho kandi nawe ubwawe bitagusabye ko
uhindura uko uteye cyane dore ko n’akenshi bigorana.

Dore rero ibintu usanga akenshi abagabo benshi badasobanukiwe ku
bagore, kandi nyamara ari ibintu bishobora kububakira cyane:

-  Abagore bakunda umuntu ubabwira ko ari beza: Kubwira umukunzi wawe
kenshi gashoboka ko ari mwiza ni ikintu cy’ingenzi cyane. Aha kandi
ugerageze no kumuha compliments (kumushimagiza) ku bintu bikomeye
yagezeho, ku manota yabonye (niba ari umunyenshuri), kuri promotion
yabonye ku kazi (umubwire ko yari abikwiye), ku mpano ze, n’ibindi.

-  Kumwereka ko wiyizeye: Jya wereka umugore/umukobwa ko kuba ari
inshuti yawe bigushimisha cyane, kandi ko uko bwije n’uko bukeye
urushaho kumukunda. Kenshi bisa n’ibiteye isoni kuba wamusomera mu
ruhame rwa benshi, ariko nibura niba muri mukugendana jya umufata
ukuboko, abone nawe ko gukundana bikunezeza no kubyereka bose.
Bishyire kuri bose babireba daaaa!!!

- Si byiza kumubeshya: kimwe n’abandi bantu bose burya iyo umuntu
akubeshye akantu n’aho kaba ari gato, ukakamenya, birakubabaza kandi
ugahita umutakariza icyizere.

- Irinde guteza intonganya mu ruhame no kuburana cyane : Ibi nabyo
biri mu bintu abagore badakunda na gato, bituma basa n’aho bamwaye,
bikabatera isoni,…ntibibashimisha muri rusange.

- Kumwitaho kandi wenyine: Hari abagabo benshi batekereza ko kuba muri
kumwe n’abandi ari byiza kwita ku bandi bakobwa muri kumwe, niba
murimo kubyina bose ukabitaho (ukababyinisha, ukabazanira ibyo
kunywa,…) ariko burya wa mukobwa mukundana cyangwa wa mugore wawe
rimwe na rimwe icyo witaga kuba ‘gentleman’ abifata nk’aho ari
ukurengera kandi ko noneho muramuttse muttari kumwe warengera ukaba
wakora n’ibindi. Rimwe na rimwe rero abibona nk’aho wamuca inyuma mu
buryo bukoroheye cyane. Byirinde bitagusenyera.

- Irinde gusohokana inshuti ze utabimbwiye: Ni byiza ko umenyana
n’inshuti ze, ariko burya iyo ugeze aho kujya uzisohokana utabanje
kubimubwira cyangwa mutari kumwe ntibimushimisha, habe na mba. Ahubwo
atangira kwibaza ko ahari harimo uwo usigaye ukunda, udashaka ko
amenya; agatangira kutakwizera nabo atabasize.

-Ntuzigere ugiramo n’umwe mufitanye umubano wihariye kabone n’iyo nta
kindi cyaba kibyihishe inyuma. Ikindi kandi ntukagire uwo wandikira
ubutumwa bugufi muri kumwe mwese, ahita yibuka uburyo namwe byatangiye
bisa no kwikinira akabona ko namwe ariho murimo kuganisha. Ni byiza
kandi kumwereka ko wishimira kuba uri kumwe nawe wenyine, kurusha iyo
muri kumwe mwese.

- Komeza kwiyitaho: Niba ari uwawe ntibivuze ko wafatishije bihagije
ku buryo nta handi yajya. Reka da! Komeza umwereke ko uri
umusore/umugabo mwiza w’igikundiro, umwereke ko rwose umukwiye kandi
ko no hanze aha babona ko afite umugabo mwiza.

- Kumwitaho bihagije: Niba muri kumwe n’inshuti zawe witerura
ibiganiro mu nshuti zawe ngo umere nk’aho adahari. Mwereke ko
umwitayeho, mu kugenda umwiyegereze mbega umubere ingabo imukingira,
umubere ukwezi kumumurikira, … Erega jya wishyira mu mwanya we,
byagushimisha se niba iyo ari kumwe n’inshuti ze agufata nk’aho
udahari??

- Kugaragaza isura nziza ku babyeyi be, no ku muryango we: N’iyo waba
utabakunda ariko burya ni byiza kwibuka uruhare runini bafite ku
mukobwa wabo, bityo ubibubahire kandi ukore ku buryo rwose urukundo
rwanyu baruha umugisha.

- Gutekereza no kureba kure: Urukundo nta murongo runaka uhamye rugira
wo kugenderaho. Jya rero uhora utekereza utuntu twose twamushimisha,
ntugume mu bintu bimwe gusa kuko bigera aho bikamurambira, umuzanire
indabyo nziza, umutegurire icyayi, niba ari ku kazi cyangwa ku ishuri
umutungure ugire akantu umushyira yo mutari mwabivuganye, n’ibindi
byose bishobora kumushimisha. Rimwe na rimwe umugurire impano nta
kindi cyabaye,umuzanire filimi nziza muyirebane. Burya abakobwa ntabwo
bakunda ibintu bihenze, baba bashaka gusa ibyo ubakorera bikuvuye ku
mutima.

- Kwibuka amatariki akomeye mu buzima bwe : Iki ni ikintu wenda ahari
utari uzi ariko gikomeye cyane ku bagore. Nuhora uzirikana itariki
z’amavuko, ubukwe, itariki mwakundaniyeho, itariki imwibutsa ibintu
bikomeye mu buzima bwe,… ntushobora kumva ukuntu azashimishwa cyane no
kubona ukuntu umwitaho.

- Kwibuka ibyo akunda n’ibyo yanga: Umukobwa biramushimisha cyane
kumva uzi ubwoko bw’indabyo akunda, ubwoko bwa filimi zimushimisha,
ibara akunda, umunsi yanga cyangwa ibintu yanga kurusha ibindi. Ibi
nabyo abibonamo urukundo rwinshi no kumwitaho cyane.

- Kumwandikira: Abagore muri rusange bakunda cyane umuntu ubitaho,
biramushimisha gutaha agasanga akandiko wamusigiye ku musego, ako
wamushyiriye mu isakoshi atabizi; biramushimisha cyane ko umubwira ko
wagize amahirwe atabonwa na bake kuba ari uwawe. Si ngombwa ko ako
kandiko kaba karekare cyangwa ari umuvugo wamuhimbiye, n’iyo kaba ari
akajambo kamwe, kamugwa ku mutima.

- Kumuha umwanya: Buri mugore nk’uko twabibonye ko akunda umuntu
umwitaho, jya umusaba umunsi yaguha atazaba ahuze, mwirirwane muri
babiri gusa, murebane filimi, umukorere massage, umuririmbire; nta
n’ikindi kinini ukoze ibyo byonyine azabigukundira pe.

- Kumwumva no kumusangiza ubuzima bwawe: Mubwire gahunda ufite, ibyo
wakoze, ibyo wagezeho n’ibyakunaniye; umwumve nakugira inama, umutege
amatwi yewe kabone n’aho waba utemeranywa nawe kubyo murimo
kuvuganaho.

Mu bintu abagore binubira kenshi ni uko abagabo badakunda kubatega
amatwi iyo barimo kubabwira inkuru. Jya umutega amatwi umwumve,
umwereke ko witeguye kumwumva igihe cyose. Niba hari ikosa yakoze,
yaba ari wowe yarikoreye cyangwa undi, nabikubwira ntugahite
umukankamira, ahubwo jya ubanza umwumve, umugire inama, umukosore
kandi byose ubikorane umutima mwiza bityo icyizere yari agufitiye
kiziyongera.

- Kuba mu ruhande rwe: Buri gihe jya uba mu ruhande rwe, uko byaba
bimeze kose, n’iyo yaba ariwe uri mu makosa, ugerageze kumuhana ariko
kandi umwumvishe ko igihe cyose uhamubereye

- Mwereke ko nawe ashoboye: Niba mwasohokanye akakubwira ko yifuza
kuba ariwe wishyura uwo munsi, jya umureka yishyure, umwereke ko nawe
afite ubushobozi ko kandi umwubaha.

- Kumwitondesha: Niba mwarashakanye, si ngombwa ko buri gihe uko
muryamye mukorana imibonano mpuzabitsina. Niba ubona atabishaka
cyangwa se wenda atanabyiteguye, mwihorere, umuhe umwanya, umureke
agire uruhare rufatika mu kwishimisha no kugushimisha.

- Kwirinda inshuti zawe za kera: si byiza kugarura abakobwa mwigeze
gukundana (ex-girlfriends) , si byiza kandi ko uvuga ibyiza bari
bafite bamurusha kuko ahita yumva nawe ari umwe mu bakobwa benshi
mwakundanye, agatekereza ko urimo kubashyira mu gatebo kamwe; bityo
cya yizere yari agufitiye kigatangira kugenda gishira, ndetse
utaniyibagije ko byanatuma afuha.

Ibi byose nubikurikiza, azaguhora hafi kandi mubane mu munezero.
Kenshi abantu bashobora gutandukana kandi nta n’ikintu gifatika
bapfuye, gusa bigaterwa n’uko batabashije kumenyana bihagije.